Part - I
"Let me tell you a story", the man announced to some,
He had had a bottle of whiskey, and a pint or two of rum.
"Its about a man called Danny, a weird guy he was,
Some say he was a drunkard, I'd say, a lost cause"
One night he was forcibly taken, by his lovely bride to be,
To what some call a 'Magic Show', he just didn't want to see.
On the stage he saw the man, who people said had vanished,
But Danny, my friends, a fool he was, he couldn't be less astonished
"Excuse me", he said, after bearing enough, "I must go out to get,
Some chips for you, a beer for me, and a lovely cigarette."
He ruffled his way through the crowd, he couldn't wait any longer,
He hadn't had any booze since five, his urge to drink got stronger.
Thanking his god for letting him out, he crossed the street pumped up,
He looked to his left, he looked to his right, he just couldn't find a pub.
At last, when he had walked a mile, down on the empty street,
He ran into a man who sold, cigarettes and chips to eat.
Just as he was about to reach, back to the overrated tricks,
He found himself glancing a man, playing with swords and bricks.
"Hello there!", he said to the man with swords, "What brings you here this late?
Performing your art in solitude, beneath this lofty gate"
Absorbed in his act, the man with swords, was searching time for words,
Just so the juggling swords won't fall, or hurt some flying birds.
All Impressed, Danny had swore, to give the guy some change,
And then the man, put down his swords, few words were due exchange.
Part - II
Hello, sir, I am Theodore, some people call me Ted.
And I am just a man who does, all this to earn some bread.
I juggle swords, I balance bricks, some eggs I try to float,
But best of all is the act in which a sword goes down my throat.
And just like that, Danny and Ted, began a lovely talk,
Both enjoyed a cigarette, and had a moonlit walk.
They talked of love, they talked of hate, they talked of times that went,
they talked of peace, they talked of war, how life was different.
"I know there's god" the poor main said, "The one who made us all"
"I trust in him, I worship him, he will not let us fall"
All these words, when Danny heard, were like a clichéd song,
He thought to himself, this man needs help, he couldn't be more wrong.
"There is no thing like god, my friend", he said in a patient tone,
"God is just for those who think they can't rise up alone.
There are, agreed, some men who think, they were sent here by god,
But that is just, trust me on this, one deeply ugly fraud.
Listening to this, our poor old ted, just smiled at Danny's face.
"I wasn't talking of that, it is, indeed a big disgrace"
I wasn't speaking of god. the way, we men believe he'd be
I just think of him in a way which not many men can see.
I don't pray to any idols, neither to godly stones,
Nor any ritual I believe in, involving flesh and bones.
God, I think, is in this holy temple, like nothing of its kind.
'Cause this place I talk of,dear Danny, is nothing but one's mind.
We waste our time, thanking 'our' gods, for food and blood and vein,
But god is just a notion created to explain what you can't explain.
The real god, the one inside, is what helps us to do,
the thing that's right, no matter what, will end up happening to you.
"Let me tell you a story", the man announced to some,
He had had a bottle of whiskey, and a pint or two of rum.
"Its about a man called Danny, a weird guy he was,
Some say he was a drunkard, I'd say, a lost cause"
One night he was forcibly taken, by his lovely bride to be,
To what some call a 'Magic Show', he just didn't want to see.
On the stage he saw the man, who people said had vanished,
But Danny, my friends, a fool he was, he couldn't be less astonished
"Excuse me", he said, after bearing enough, "I must go out to get,
Some chips for you, a beer for me, and a lovely cigarette."
He ruffled his way through the crowd, he couldn't wait any longer,
He hadn't had any booze since five, his urge to drink got stronger.
Thanking his god for letting him out, he crossed the street pumped up,
He looked to his left, he looked to his right, he just couldn't find a pub.
At last, when he had walked a mile, down on the empty street,
He ran into a man who sold, cigarettes and chips to eat.
Just as he was about to reach, back to the overrated tricks,
He found himself glancing a man, playing with swords and bricks.
"Hello there!", he said to the man with swords, "What brings you here this late?
Performing your art in solitude, beneath this lofty gate"
Absorbed in his act, the man with swords, was searching time for words,
Just so the juggling swords won't fall, or hurt some flying birds.
All Impressed, Danny had swore, to give the guy some change,
And then the man, put down his swords, few words were due exchange.
Part - II
Hello, sir, I am Theodore, some people call me Ted.
And I am just a man who does, all this to earn some bread.
I juggle swords, I balance bricks, some eggs I try to float,
But best of all is the act in which a sword goes down my throat.
And just like that, Danny and Ted, began a lovely talk,
Both enjoyed a cigarette, and had a moonlit walk.
They talked of love, they talked of hate, they talked of times that went,
they talked of peace, they talked of war, how life was different.
"I know there's god" the poor main said, "The one who made us all"
"I trust in him, I worship him, he will not let us fall"
All these words, when Danny heard, were like a clichéd song,
He thought to himself, this man needs help, he couldn't be more wrong.
"There is no thing like god, my friend", he said in a patient tone,
"God is just for those who think they can't rise up alone.
There are, agreed, some men who think, they were sent here by god,
But that is just, trust me on this, one deeply ugly fraud.
Listening to this, our poor old ted, just smiled at Danny's face.
"I wasn't talking of that, it is, indeed a big disgrace"
I wasn't speaking of god. the way, we men believe he'd be
I just think of him in a way which not many men can see.
I don't pray to any idols, neither to godly stones,
Nor any ritual I believe in, involving flesh and bones.
God, I think, is in this holy temple, like nothing of its kind.
'Cause this place I talk of,dear Danny, is nothing but one's mind.
We waste our time, thanking 'our' gods, for food and blood and vein,
But god is just a notion created to explain what you can't explain.
The real god, the one inside, is what helps us to do,
the thing that's right, no matter what, will end up happening to you.
holy mother of dear god!
ReplyDeleteit's a story, and in remarkably tight verse too.
a very fast-paced and fun-filled read.
i'm glad i'm not the only one employing references to the cultural exposures of alcohol and nicotine.
but the lines could be a little more consistent.
poetry is often more visual than otherwise,
so it should, not typically though, seem to be visually coherent - for a poem as easily flowing as yours, that would add heaps of character to the very act of going through the poem.
oh, and i was scandalised to find it ended.
at least this part, i mean.
i'll look forward to danny's adventures with the sword swallower, and your adventures with poetry;
for the better and the verse.
Fun to read, skeptic at times. Long but not boring! Tighter verses can be expected. all In all a good effort.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that intrigues me is is who are u in the poem? danny or Ted? or neither?
Really good job on this second of parts too!
ReplyDeleteThe meter is lost once or twice, but otherwise it's damn good!
Loved the 3rd last line!
This poem reminded me of the song by Joan, "What if God were one of us?"
Looking forward to more!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteExtremely pleasing is the carefully woven text
ReplyDeleteEagerly waiting to read who Danny meets next! =)
Seems more like a fairy tale! really good pieces of writing...
you keep getting better, that's disconcerting.
ReplyDeletethe structuring is better too,
but far from close to perfect - so work harder.
i get the feeling danny has many more adventures to venture into, and many more people to meet.
and so i'll look forward to them,
for the better and the verse.